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More people, especially Zoomers, openly identify as gay or some type of queer. Fewer heterosexuals are marrying, as Matthew Schmitz recently pointed out in these pages, and even fewer are procreating though many are proud dog parents. Polyamory—a common feature of the gay lifestyle—is increasingly popular among heterosexuals, as relationships are now driven by individual fulfillment rather than procreation and starting a family.
And traditional gender roles have become largely superfluous to romantic pairings. Women have surpassed men in education and the workforce. By the time they marry if they ever do , millennial women are more likely to be the breadwinner and, given their greater maturity, are notionally more fit to call the shots in the relationship. Surely, this inversion of gender roles does not render gender difference completely irrelevant to the relationship.
But the fact that said differences are no longer tied to the given embodiment of the man and the woman does indeed serve to relativize the role of gender difference in the relationship. The overarching cultural message has been that it is better for men to be passive and vulnerable than to cultivate their more properly masculine traits in virtuous ways. When the male abdicates headship in heterosexual pairings, women step in to fill the role.
Because boys lack a biological marker like menstruation, to be a man is to be not female. While a mature man should refrain from violence and leaven his instinctive revulsion toward gay men with the supernatural virtues of charity and mercy, there is certainly something suspect and, frankly, unnatural about a heterosexual man who claims to have no issue whatsoever with being around gay men—as if all gay men were exclusively interested in sex with other gay men.
Just a few years before Lady Gaga, Kesha, and Katy Perry started releasing pro-gay anthems, heterosexual female pop singers complained about their boyfriends acting too gay. It is a well-known Freudian trope that many gay men had distant fathers and overbearing mothers who used their sons as confidants. Though the heterosexual man who treats his wife as a mother figure is distinct from the gay man who rebels against his overbearing mother by pursuing a male partner, they are united by their unresolved maternal complexes.
Men who value their own agency, who are determined to protect, build, and fight for the good of their own, are threats to the expansion of automation and globalized technocratic power, and are treated as such. Regardless of whether one attributes the shifting dynamics in heterosexual relationships to the inversion of gender roles or to pervasive Freudian emotional complexes, the reality is that the behavior of heterosexual and homosexual couples is becoming less distinguishable.
Not only are we all sodomites ten years after Obergefell ; we are all becoming gay. One year subscription including unlimited web access to the current issue and the online issue archives. In a much-anticipated decision, United States v. Skrmetti, the Supreme Court handed a win to states seeking…. The advent of Pride Month, albeit in recent years a slightly more muted affair than in the….
All rights reserved. Adubato June 27, Share Article. Stephen G. Adubato writes from New York City.
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