Becoming gay

Coming out of the closet for gay or trans people historically meant announcing your arrival onto the social stage and joining your community. The origin of the closet as a metaphor for repressed. Socialization with other gays is important when accepting your sexuality in that it gives a sense of inclusion to a new world, erasing feelings of loneliness. Pride and self-esteem are built through acceptance, validation and support.

Accepting your gay sexual orientation can help you build a more genuine relationship with yourself and boost your confidence when you’re ready to come out. This article aims to help you understand and manage your feelings about being gay, especially without support. Get prepared and informed with the right coming-out tips in this guide.

Whether you’re coming out as trans, lesbian, gay, queer, bisexual, asexual, or any other type of gender identity, read on.

For many, coming out as gay is a pivotal moment in life, a chance to embrace one’s true identity while also navigating the challenges and expectations of the world around them. Here is a comprehensive guide to help navigate the process of coming out to different groups in your life. The other day when I tweeted my distaste for the latest Kylie Minogue single a form of sacrilege in some circles one of my followers replied with one of my least favorite phrases: "We're going to revoke your gay card.

There's no such thing as a gay monolith. There are as many ways to be gay as there are colors in the rainbow now who is being easy and glib? Dishing out gay cards is like telling people they aren't allowed to be gay because they haven't seen the requisite number of Glee episodes. But, then again, maybe they gay community needs some sort of shared experience — outside of the experience of falling in love with a member of the same sex — to bring us together.

Gay men and women don't share a place of origin, skin color, socio-economic class, religion, or anything else that would typify their experience. It's a mode of perception, an attitude, an ethos: in short, it is a practice. So in this age of mainstreaming, where gay men come out of the closet not to attend dinner parties of catty queens like themselves and the cast of Boys in the Band but to a room of welcoming members of society both straight and gay, how can we form a culture of our own?

If there are a million ways to be gay, can we settle on a few key experiences every gay man should experience to draw them together? Everyone needs a Kylie, even if you think Time Bomb is kind of a crappy song. Having a strong female icon is somehow central to the gay identity for more on that, pick up Halperin's book and harkens back to the darkest days of gay identity when these troubled broads were the closest thing you could find to a representation of gay life.

Just pick one, and never ever ever ever leave her. Even if it's just once for Halloween, go out in the world wearing the clothing of the opposite gender. It will it unleash a personality you didn't even know you had in you and it will make you OK with femininity. So many gay men are afraid of even the slightest bit of swish being detected. But one night when the femme is in total control will never make you fear it again.

And it will put you in touch with the brave bottle throwers who started the Stonewall Riots back in the day. Everyone used to know to glance over your shoulder after three steps if you were interested in that sexy stranger on the sidewalk. There was a complex network of looks and signals that men used to use to attract each other, something that made gay men much more attuned to body language and perceptive than our straight counterparts.

why am i gay

Learn how to do that. Not only will it improve your gay experience, but the way you interact with everyone. Street cruising is mostly dead — no, it can't be done on Grindr — but a trip to a bath house will teach you all you ever need to know. If only so people will get your jokes about Rush and Jungle Juice, know what poppers are. You don't have to use them, but it's one secret we've kept from most of the gay community for decades so we have to keep it going.

It's our version of Colonel Sanders' secret recipe. Get out there with a picket sign and some anger and fight for your rights. Even before Stonewall we have a long history of fighting the man, and that should never die. You can collect signatures for marriage equality or you can join an Occupy protest and fight income inequality, but never stop fighting.

And if PDA public displays of agitation aren't your thing, there are plenty of causes that need fundraising, which can easily be done over brunch a gay art that somehow is not on this list. Standing out in the hot June sun can sure be a drag all puns intended but everyone should experience the depth and breadth of the community at this event at least once.

See the people outside of your social circle, the tourists from a far, and those people who wouldn't mix with in a million gay years. And where else are you going to see Dykes on Bikes anyway? This sense of being able to find other homosexuals in the given area isn't inborn like a sense of direction or ESP.